'Crave' - Veronika Geroc
Compressed and willow charcoal on paper
16.5 x 23.4 in
I don’t have the guts to talk about this on Facebook where just about everyone who knows me sees it but entering The One Show Art Competition with this drawing feels like a step towards accepting my complex relationship with food, body image and all the anxieties that come with it. I don’t know why I’m writing this, I guess I’m just tired of people saying that everything I draw is ‘purely technical’, that there’s no emotion in it and I’m nothing but a really slow, human printer.. Over the last few years I’ve come to realise that my obsession with controlling the pencil (or charcoal in this case) to resemble a photograph is illustrative of how I feel towards most things in life. I’ve tried so hard to be somebody that I’m not and never will be (size 6 included) in hope I’ll appear more attractive, more endearing, more interesting than who I am in actuality. I pour my heart into everything I draw. It’s a place where even the most suffocating thoughts and feelings come out to play, without having to verbally share them with others due to guilt and embarrassment. To the majority, this is just a drawing of some chocolate bars in a jar. To me, it’s the embodiment of weakness, isolation, temptation and conflict. You are what you eat; right?
I Don’t Generally Reblog but this <3
As I write this it is currently half past 3 in the morning, most people would be asleep or at least doing something with that time but then there is me. I don’t make out to be the best person in the world with the best grades, hardest working or the most successful. Hell…I don’t wanna be. I want to be good enough to survive comfortably and not have to worry. Provide for my family and the ones that I care about.
I’m not gunna lie though I have got a lot of my life in order, what people see as general chaos and stress I see as a puzzle to be picked apart and brought togather as something better. I tend not to stress about my work (E.g that whole month project which is due in less than a week and hasent been started) Along with that I have a good part time job which keeps me funded, reliable parents and family and a beautiful loving and caring girlfriend…
So I wonder to myself, if I have all this stuff which makes me happy… Why am I mean to people when they’ve actually done nothing wrong. I get swayed by others opinions and thoughts, I suppose like most teenagers they follow who they believe is the best for there benefit.
This has all mostly come up because I am tired, ill and had nothing more to do than look through memories, I’ve come to realise that all the major friends I’ve had in my life I’ve stopped talking to and usually it’s because I followed the crowd instead of sticking by them. Normally I’ve done something enough to make them want to hate me even if they don’t want to (if that makes sense)
I’d like to think I’ve changed and matured more in the past year. With university lined up and my hard working life about to begin I’m hoping that I’ve grown up a bit but I suppose we shall see!
That seems to be everything for tonight, so goodnight!
Last night had such a good night gaming…
Asked by einsteinsnightmare
hey, thank you. we deffo should. no idea when we can though, im working 7-3 on the 15th and 3-11 on my actual birthday. we’ll figure something out soon thooooo
til 11pm? pfffft there’s lots of time to celebrate after 11! we can even dress all formal and shit so you dont have to change ;D
that’s the spirit. do it on a friday and lets get smashed.
but whenever i work fridays its 7pm-3am ;-;
the next couple of fridays are pretty much impossible to do :(
okay um wednesday haha
But you said 3-11 on the friday 15th D:
“ im working 7-3 on the 15th and 3-11 on my actual birthday.”
Nuuuuuu I didnt!
Also wednesday could happen!
what do you do on saturday?
i work sundays so cant saturdays but thats cool if it has to be saturday
Well wednesdays will be quite hard for me :(